Why What You Think Doesn’t Matter (Challenge 66)

It’s been a while since I got up on the soapbox, so I’m going to say something a bit provocative here that I’ve been thinking about recently, as I watch leaders fight for their visions on stages big and small against opposing forces.

When you are a leader, what you think does not matter. 

Well, OK, it’s not the ONLY thing that matters. You do need to have a vision and goals of your own. But if you don’t have a critical mass of team members and stakeholders that think more or less the same way, then what you think doesn’t matter, because you will not be able to make your vision an enduring reality. So today I’m gonna share things I’ve seen work to get more of your organization thinking—and moving--the same way.

Welcome to the Kind Leadership Challenge, the podcast that empowers leaders to heal their organizations in ten minutes! I’m Dr. Sarah Clark, founder of the Kind Leadership Guild, where I use my PhD in Higher ed leadership and nearly 2 decades of experience in academic libraries to coach educational leaders to sustainably build a better world. 

Kind Leaders aren’t perfect, which is actually as it should be. In our unique ways, We make tough decisions without becoming jerks. We create impactful and burnout-proof systems for our organizations. And we know that once we stop controlling and start collaborating, even the most ambitious vision can become effortless. Kind Leadership’s pretty simple, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. So if you’re up for a challenge, stick around as I teach you how to create a resilient, thriving legacy that will strengthen your community long after you’re gone.

The first thing you need to do is to get curious about the perspectives of the people you’re trying to get on board with your plan. After all, if you can set aside squabbles and office drama and such, a problem is rarely ever as black and white as it seems in the heat of the moment. As long as the problem doesn’t include someone being treated with disrespect for their basic humanity, there is probably more than one possible solution to a leadership challenge. So get curious about how other people see the problem you’re trying to address, and how they think it could be resolved. Whether or not you agree with what they think, their perspectives will provide useful data for the next step in getting more folks on board with your vision.

Once you’ve gathered information from your stakeholders, it’s time to sit back, review your notes, and soak in the data, as my qualitative research methods professor would say. For now I’d like you to consider two questions—what have you changed your mind about after talking to other stakeholders, and where else would you be willing to bend in the interests of getting more people on board? Those of you who listened all the way back to episode 1 recall the most important thing I learned in my entire PhD. When asked what the secret was to a successful dissertation, she responded “Always remember that finished is better than fabulous.” And so it is with any big initiative. If you can make some changes that get more people on board and will still allow the plan to work, DO IT. Even if you think they’re inefficient or pointless or silly. Those kinds of compromises make your project more likely to actually succeed in reality, rather than gather dust on a shelf like 99% of Transformative Strategic Initiatives.

Now, with the first draft of your plan in hand, go back to your stakeholders. Talk them through it, point out where you incorporated their thoughts, and get more feedback. Revise as needed until you get enough people on board with enough ot the problem and solution, and move forward. The idea isn’t to get everyone on board with your ideas—that’s a fool’s errand. The idea is to get enough people bought in to enough on the plan to get it finished. Very few initiatives we create are carved in stone after all. Live with the plan for a while, and then you can start tweaking to make it more fabulous.   

Of course, I can almost guarantee that no matter what you do, some people won’t agree. The long answer to this challenge is discussed in episode 32, where I go into much more detail about what you can do when team members don’t do what you tell them to do. The short answer is that sometimes you just need a little more conversation, sometimes someone needs to leave the project (or even the organization), and often the solution is found in the messy middle. Whatever the solution, it’s your responsibility as leader to make and implement the decisions that in the best interest of your organization as a whole. 
 
 Sometimes it’s an easy climb up a little hill to your vision, and sometimes it’s a lot steeper and more treacherous. Sometimes folks are eager to join you, but other times it’s a struggle to recruit climbing partners. Some places, and I’m ashamed to say that a lot of schools and libraries fit this category, have been subject to poor leadership and oversight for so many years that the people where don’t know anything else. And when someone comes in who doesn’t seem to practice either authoritarianism or benign neglect, they freak out. And who can blame them?

But that means any kind leader who comes into a wounded organization will have a steep hill to climb to establish the trusting culture required to accomplish anything big. And this is where you need to get honest with yourself. How big a hill do you want to climb? How big a hill are you equipped to climb? And how are you going to keep yourself and your climbing partners safe and steady during the ascent?

If you’ve listened to episode zero, I probably wasn’t ready to scale my current peak when I started out as a naïve first-time dean. I made it, but only just, and the climb left me with some scars and injuries that have mostly healed, but still ache from time to time. That’s why right now my vision is less about climbing bigger and better hills than it is serving as a guide and advisor to other leaders as they climb their hills—both in my organization and beyond. But of course, that still leaves me with the problem I discussed at the top—a guide is just another kind of leader, and needs people who trust them enough to follow them up the hill. So I share what I think on this podcast, and on linkedin in my posts and livestreams. You get to learn who I am, what kind leadership is, and whether I might be a useful guide on your climb. And I get to learn from your perspective and struggles, and keep tweaking my vision in ways that both remain true to my perspective while being of greater service to leaders who want to build a better world without burning out. 

So here’s my challenge to you: consult with someone who will give you honest feedback about your latest plan—especially if you think they might feel unheard, or if you suspect they might tell you something you don’t want to hear. You will learn something useful no matter how well or poorly the conversation plays out. And who knows? Maybe by taking an interest in what they have to say, they will repay the favor, and you just might find out that you agree about a lot more stuff than you expected.

Thanks as always for listening to the kind leadership challenge. Before you go, here’s a quick way you can spread the word of kind leadership. I’d like you to take a moment to think of one friend or colleague who could most benefit from this week’s challenge. Then, open your app or head over to kindleadershipchallenge.com/66 and share this episode with them. And add a friendly note as well. Never doubt that day by day, you’re building a better world, even if you can't see it yet. So until next time, stay kind now.