How to conquer your (possibly) biggest fear

 As I’ve mentioned a few times, I tend toward introversion a little more than a lot of leaders do, and I’m not a particularly natural networker. And yet, speaking and writing and podcasting to large groups is pretty much my zone of genius. Weird, right? Just going by all the surveys that claim that most people are more scared of public speaking than they are of death, I suspect that a lot of you listening get butterflies in your tummy every time you have to give a presentation to your board, your donors, or other key stakeholders. So today, I’m going to share the three things you can do to become a better and and more confident public speaker, and as always, I’ll give you a challenge to help you take some baby steps out of your comfort zone this week.

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First, I want to share some good news with those of you who are nervous about giving your next presentation. If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, or have gone to kindleadershipchallenge.com/next to get the next steps checklist and sign up for my daily leadership pick-me-ups. you already have most of the tools you need to handle any public speaking situation. Here’s the secret--a presentation is simply another type of challenge! And for that reason, many of the items on the next steps checklist also work great for planning your next presentation or speech! A few that are the most relevant are defining the problem your presentation is meant to solve, and planning out your planned talking points so you know what you will hit and in what order. 

I also want to talk about another item I discuss in the checklist, “separating the facts of a situation from the stories being told about it,” because when it comes to public speaking, there can be an deeper type of story at play. The first level of facts vs story is the same as any other leadership challenge—when planning a presentation or speech, you need to define the unarguable facts of a situation, so you can distinguish them from the possibly-inaccurate stories you and the other people involved in the situation have created to make sense of those facts. However, for a lot of people, another story starts playing in their heads as soon as they learn they will have to stand up and speak before an unfamiliar audience—that public speaking is scary and they’re not good at it. The great news is that like any other inaccurate story, it loses its power if it’s disproven by the facts. So how do you start proving to yourself that you can become a skilled, confident public speaker?

Practice.

Specifically, frequent, low-stakes practice. Confidence isn’t a requirement to speak well, but it’s strengthened by experiences of speaking well. So get up in front of people you know and talk. It doesn’t have to be fancy—and in fact it shouldn’t be. For instance, at my place of work, a catholic university, we start many of our meetings with a “reflection”. Usually it’s a reading of sort, sometimes religious, but more often something from fiction or other popular writing that reinforces our school’s mission and core values. And different folks volunteer to do it for each meeting. If I were wanting to strengthen my comfort level with public speaking, I’d volunteer to do that a time or two. Now, your school or library may not go in for an opening reflection, but perhaps they need someone to read announcements, or introduce a guest speaker, or maybe talk about a new project at a staff meeting instead of just sending an email. Try some small things like that to build up your confidence. 

In addition, there are thousands of formal and informal ways you can build up your speaking confidence and skills outside of work. Toastmasters is a common suggestion, and I actually found it pretty useful and fun when I joined a club right out of college. You can also take a leadership position in another club or group that suits your interests. And if you want to get a little more techy, try a little livestream on one of your social media pages, or even podcasting! And now that I think of it, there’s probably a whole episode in how my 9 years of podcasting has made me a better and kinder leader, but we’ll safe that for another day. 😊  

Finally, I’m going to repeat something I told y’all Waaaay back in episode 1 of this podcast: Finished is Better than Fabulous. If you want to improve your confidence and skill as a presenter, your goal is not to be a perfect public speaker. Your goal is to be a frequent public speaker. You will probably do better than you expect, but you will also stumble and struggle. To this day I flop in front of an audience or release a dud podcast every so often, and I consider myself a pretty natural public speaker! you will struggle, that’s how you learn 😊

So here’s your challenge: remember that confidence is a result of success, not a prerequisite for it. SO get out there and start presenting! Have a plan, find a low stakes situation, and don’t worry about being perfect! Get some reps in, get a little more comfortable, and share how it went with me or with a friend.

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